the-dump

can badgers really be trained at all?

That’s better than I was expecting

You got a 20, it's not gonna be wasted

Ok

So I’m going to walk over to the tree

It was trained by its previous owners, but not for anything complicated, especially not combat

While looking at him

And start attacking it

Also I’ll say “get em” before I do it

Than after I do that

I’ll eat a treat

It's gonna make a guttural growling noise with its mouth still open.

Fine

I’ll give him a little piece of the treat before I do that

As he at least went over there

After I attack the tree

I’m going to walk back

Look him in the eyes

Point at the tree

And say get em

He chews it in an instant and looks back up to you.

Repetition is key when it comes to training animald

Okay, let's roll for Vag again

I’m expecting a 1

I roll a d20 again?

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (6)+1 = 7

Progress

He steps back as you kick the tree. He looks around curiously.

Ok

So

I’ll point at the tree

And say in the most commanding voice I can give, “Vag, get em”

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (2)+1 = 3

Fuck me

Vag is a lost cause

I’m fucking doing this until he gets it right

It holds its mouth open again, making a short rasping noise.

okay

I’m going to yell

“Get em”

Than I’m going to claw and bite at the tree while on all fours

Maybe if I get on his level

Than

Vag steps back and makes his hissing noise.

I’m going to eat a treat

I’ll walk over to him

Feed him half a treat

Than hold up the other half

While yelling “Vag, get em” and pointing at the tree

Your throat starts clogging up as you realize you just ingested hemlock.

The fuck is hemlock

Give me 10 death rolls

There is not a substance that could kill a human but not a badger

Don’t give me that shit

Alright alright

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (17)+1 = 18

Oh baby

He did a thing

Vag walks over to the tree stump. He curls his head back and makes his signature hissing and clicking noise.

God fucking damnit

you should start using your whip Kappa

You know that's how a badger shows aggression

I suppose

It scares the shit out of most animals

You know what

It’s good enough

I’ll call him over and give him the half a treat, and another whole one

Than I’ll pet him and say “good job”

Rusp, the "treats" are singular berries

Well

I’ve been taking little chunks of them

Just

Ahh

After receiving his treats, Vag looks at you expectingly for a minute, then goes back to doing badger business after he realizes no more treats are coming.

Ok

I’ll get his attention