the-dump

Get em

You're speaking....to the animal?

I look at him

Point at the target

And tell him to get em

You know

Like a dog

Alright, rolling for Vag's action

He's not a dog

Well than how the hell do I train this thing

Why would I fucking steal this thing

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (3)+1 = 4

Kursed to all hell

Oh well

He walks over to the tree sniffing at it, then he looks back to you. He circles the tree a few times then walks back over to your side, holding its mouth open in expectance.

You know

can badgers really be trained at all?

That’s better than I was expecting

You got a 20, it's not gonna be wasted

Ok

So I’m going to walk over to the tree

It was trained by its previous owners, but not for anything complicated, especially not combat

While looking at him

And start attacking it

Also I’ll say “get em” before I do it

Than after I do that

I’ll eat a treat

It's gonna make a guttural growling noise with its mouth still open.

Fine

I’ll give him a little piece of the treat before I do that

As he at least went over there

After I attack the tree

I’m going to walk back

Look him in the eyes

Point at the tree

And say get em

He chews it in an instant and looks back up to you.

Repetition is key when it comes to training animald

Okay, let's roll for Vag again

I roll a d20 again?

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (6)+1 = 7

Progress

He steps back as you kick the tree. He looks around curiously.

Ok

So

I’ll point at the tree

And say in the most commanding voice I can give, “Vag, get em”

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (2)+1 = 3

Fuck me

Vag is a lost cause

I’m fucking doing this until he gets it right

It holds its mouth open again, making a short rasping noise.

okay

Might as well since max and xbrox aren't showing up

I’m going to yell

“Get em”

Than I’m going to claw and bite at the tree while on all fours

Maybe if I get on his level

Than

Vag steps back and makes his hissing noise.

I’m going to eat a treat

I’ll walk over to him

Feed him half a treat

Than hold up the other half

While yelling “Vag, get em” and pointing at the tree

Your throat starts clogging up as you realize you just ingested hemlock.

The fuck is hemlock

Give me 10 death rolls

There is not a substance that could kill a human but not a badger

Don’t give me that shit

Alright alright

/r d20+1

@Gent: d20+1 = (17)+1 = 18

Oh baby

He did a thing

Vag walks over to the tree stump. He curls his head back and makes his signature hissing and clicking noise.