general
Wednesday, May 19, 2021
why fly when you can... ride? a slime
I was an idiot.
My hormones were RAGING. I would’ve stuck my dick inside of a jelly donut if that meant I could cum.
Anyway, I was popular in high school. Everyone liked me, especially the ladies because I was the tallest guy there and I could sing a little something, you know? So everyone was chasing after me, but there was this one girl I was trying to fuck, lets call her Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa was fine as fuck. She had nice eyes, a nice smile, she was just pretty as hell. I mean her body was cool too but her SMILE bro. I was so sprung on getting this girl. So one day, I was walking down the hall to my next class and Mona Lisa comes over and says “Hey, you’re Simon right?”
And I go
HELLLLLLLLYEAAAAAAHHHHHHHBROOOOOOOOOO THATS ME WOOF WOOF LETS GET IT (nah I really just said “Yeah, what’s up?”)
So me and her start flirting and whatever and she tells me she isn’t trying to date but she has had a crush on me for a while so she wanted to know if I wanted to come over. AND SHE WINKED. BROOOOOO WHEN I TELL MY DICK SAID BOING YO I WAS HARD AS HELL. So she gives me her address and goes i’ll see you after school.
BOY WHEN I TELL YOU I RACED OUT OF CLASS WHEN THE BELL RANG AT THE END OF THE DAY. I SUPER RACED TO HER HOUSE. (it was only down the street)
I GOT THERE BEFORE SHE DID IT.
So I’m standing there, wiping off my sweat, making sure I got condoms, rubbing my cologne on my skin. I felt like if I fucked her good enough, she would give me a chance, you know? So we go upstairs, we do foreplay and all that cute shit and then i get my condom out and she goes “let me put it on” so I give it to her and the condom RIPS AS SOON AS SHE TAKES IT OUT and she looks up at me like oops? SO then she goes “It’s okay, I prefer it without the condom anyway”
AND I LOOK AT HER LIKE MCUSE ME?! I AM NOT HAVING ANOTHER PREGNANCY SCARE LET ME GO RUN AND GET ANOTHER CONDOM.