b0b

I really really fucked myself

now I just have to live with it I guess

did you ever ask these people straight if they thought you were a problem

I know this one canadian who thinks he's the bane of all his friends' existence every other month and tries to cut himself off from everything, leading to people having to convince him with facts and logic that he isn't a literal devil from hell

not saying that is the case or not

yeah

all they ever say is that I'm troubled and probably don't mean half the shit I say

r

or

said

I guess

past tense

but still

point is

I reap what I sow

become a schizo loner he says it'll be cool and fun he says

good job retard

look where we ended up

well do you want to have more people

more

connections

like you said

maybe I should just be more active here

do you want to leave those older ones you mentioned or are you just doing what you think you "should"

You are always welcome to come hang out with us when we are doing stuff

I want to go back but I also know that going back is going to be a waste of my goddamn time

and why is that

because this all happened before

as in you left before?

different friends different scenario

but same bullshit on my end

except I came back

and it just wasn't worth it

so why do it all over again

I'm just doomed

did you do something serious? the way you're phrasing this sounds like there's a lot more stake than there should be just for knowing people

not really

I'm just jaded as shit

I've been around this block a few times as I said

I apologize if I am projecting but you really are souding extremely similar to that canadian I mentioned

the similarity being that

you're bothing putting a lot of stake in relationships, probably more than the people you think you've offended have

and it seems like you think it all boils down to something wrong with you

it does

because if this shit happens everywhere I go

who else could be the problem

they say the same thing

where they are mistaken though

is that what happens every time isn't that they cause a problem

but that they always think they cause a problem

again I have no idea of the scenario so I'm just assuming things

it's probably accurate enough

the reason why I am though is because most of the time when this stuff happens

it's because one person kills off the other one one-sidedly

before they get a chance to clarify what they think

well it's just me killing me off

well

for these old people, if you want to get back with them you should try

god isn't going to smite you for being cringe or an asshole, all you have to do is respond honestly if you think you're unwelcome

I'm already unwelcome

did I mention the part where they said I wasn't allowed back in

no

well

that's the situation

well that's different if they have clearly said something

I just heard it from a friend who heard it from friend still in the group

server owner doesn't like doing invites

yeah if you're banned you're banned

if you think you did something wrong then try to adjust, otherwise you can probably continue on as honestly as you can

I think the only issue is with me like I said

I am very bad at just existing

well that isn't a bad thing per se

it's just a part of your story

I am either lazy as fuck and do nothing or I burn myself so hard that I become a grouchy asshole for a while

no middle ground

do you think that that is a problem

is it something you want to change

I've been trying to

nothing works

yeah 'fixing' things about yourself doesn't really work