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Neon Genesis Phijkchu

Lifecycle
July 17, 2020 – Present
Snapshot
Through August 30, 2026
Preserved messages
June 19, 2020 – August 30, 2026
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712
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1,098,506
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43

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legorhin memes
I met Super Smash Bros Melee legend M2K at an aquarium I was working at. He said, "hey, how much do I have to pay you to let me swim in the shark tank?" I said, "M2K, I love and respect you, but you know you wouldn't last ten minutes in that cage." He let out a deep sigh and said, "Would you say that to 2007 M2K?" I said, "2007 M2K was a legend, but you know who my favorite M2K is? The one right in front of me." He said, "well, if I'm your favorite, I'm gonna need the keys to the shark tank." I pulled the keys out and said, "here you go M2K." He held them up in the air with pride and took off his shirt. I was about to stop him, but I thought about it. He's the greatest player ever, what's the worst that could happen? I locked the door, took the money out of my wallet, sat back and watched. He put the keys in his pocket and slowly opened the door. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He looked back at me and said "you won't be able to see these tears of joy when I get into the tank, so treasure them." He smiled and closed the door behind him.
legorhin memes
Then I heard the other door to the tank open and lock. I rushed over and banged on it, but there was no answer. The guard told me that M2K had already swam through. I took out my phone and called him. M2K answered and I heard an odd, muffled breathing. I asked him, "M2K, are you ok?" He said, "Yes, I'm good. I'm in the tank, getting ready to fight this dumbass shark." I said, "What?" He said, "the shark, it looks like it has just picked up on the scent of fear. But what he doesn't realize is that he's smelling his own fear, not mine." I said, "M2K, stop it, you're scaring me!" He said, "I'll be fine, just pay the guard." I said, "What?" He said, "That's what he's asking for" I took out a huge wad of cash and handed it to the guard. The guard opened the door. M2K's lifeless body lied on the floor. I felt it for a pulse. It was so faint, I couldn't tell if he was alive.
legorhin memes
But then M2K took a deep breath, opened his eyes and started laughing. I asked, "what happened to you?" He said, "I'm ok, man, but I learned a valuable lesson today." I said, "what lesson is that?" He said, "every day is an opportunity to be the best version of yourself. 2007 M2K wouldn't last one minute in the shark cage with me." He started tearing up. I said, "are those tears of joy?" He said, "Oh these things? No. Those are shark tears. You'll understand when you're older."
legorhin memes
https://babylonbee.com/news/death-penalty-still-permissible-for-people-who-drive-slowly-in-the-left-lane-pope-francis-clarifies
Death Penalty Still Permissible For People Who Drive Slowly In The ...

VATICAN CITY—Following his recent announcement that the Catholic Church no longer supports the use of the death penalty, Pope Francis clarified that it may still be applied to slow left-lane drivers. “It almost goes without saying,” the leader of the Church commented.Whereas p...

babylonbee.com
Dolfin memes
Stelter: "has there been anything this extreme from the left when it comes to putting down trump?" Someone in the call: "no there honestly hasnt"

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