bot

Yeah, I mentioned that when I introduced him in the prison

oh

4 strength, 7 dexterity

So my friend is just

very strange

Oh yeah, he fit right in

must’ve sacrificed his muscles for brain power

I guess it's like gollum

Only more human'y

And more hair

oh man

he sounds

pretty gross

So just picture that when you think through all the past events

I guess it makes sense as to why he couldn’t break open his door

because he has almost no muscle

Yep

Demon: "God, one minute."

his name is god!

He goes to talk with the tiefling accountant fellow.

They come back.

Tiefling: "Well I'm proud of you, finally solving a conflict without violence!"

sick

Demon: "Shut. Up. You. Nerd."

oof

rip accountant

/r 6d20

@taxes: 6d20 = (5+10+8+19+9+10) = 61

Tiefling: "So what I gather is that you value your own wholeness of body more than your life, but simply going back out the gate would almost certainly mean the loss of your own life."

Demon: "Yeah, and he's a pathetic little baby with nothing of worth."

: (

Tiefling: "Hey now! A fully functioning body is worth a lot these days, what with how popular necrografts are."

Tiefling: "Then I suppose a quest is in order!"

He snaps his fingers, causing a contract to appear in his hands.

oh boy a quest!

“A quest?”

“What kind of quest?”

Tiefling: "Another client I've had, very demanding he is, is having trouble with a rival in the outer planes."

fuck

I just wanna go back to the material planes

"Oh don't worry, this is in Elysium. Should be comfortable enough for you...if you can survive the mission of course."

“Well, we don’t really have any other choice but to accept this”

"Beautiful place, lots of greenery, vast open fields, scenic mountains, brimming with wildlife....which is the problem."

"A number of terribly ferocious beasts are being harnessed for the purpose of battle within this plane. I've sent several parties out to deal with them, with varying degrees of success."

"Let's say you slay...3 of these beasts, and I can promise you safe passage home with a bonus!"

“This sounds all fine and dandy but uh.. what kind of beasts are we talking?”

Tiefling: "Hmm...large?"

Tiefling: "There's no...set design they are following."

Hmm

"These creatures are all unique, it seems."

Oh

It’s a land of summoners

With eidolons

“Well, I accept your quest. Not like I had any room to say no anyways.”

"It wouldn't typically be a problem if some wild animals were living out in the jungles, but it's this client of mine that demands action."

I have a game theory

the serpent may be trying to get my eidolon killed

What?

it’s just a game theory

pay it no mind

Your eidolon doesn't fucking matter

: (

Summoners don't even need to use them

As you've seen yourself

Tiefling: "Unfortunately, it'd be suicide to send a mere party of 2 on this mission. 2 who are so inexperienced, no less."

oof

Tiefling: "Now, if it'll just be you 2 then I'll require some preliminary payment."

Tiefling: "Your hand will suffice, yes?"

“What?”

“We’re doing the quest but I still have to lose a hand?”

"Now, this is a more than fair deal!"

Tiefling: "This is a gamble for me too!"

“This is even worse than the other one!”

“Not only do I have to lose my hand, but I also have to try and do this quest that you called a suicide mission!”

“Without said hand!”

"I require at least something up front! Especially given your likelihood of mortality."

“Ahh.. you can have this amulet?”

not sure if the amulet I have is rare

You never used that thing?

nope