bot

Bartender: "Hopefully nothin too strong if you're heading for them ruins."

“Ruins?”

Bartender: "You haven't heard? Just 20 miles off site the guild uncovered the rumored Sangem Ruins. It's why they built this damn place in this blazing heat in the first place!"

wait a second

Nope

oh

Bartender: "So, what'll it be? Beer? Some veal chops? Pickled onions on rye?"

Pickled onions on rye

I’ll take one of those

hell yeah

"Strong tastes, I see."

This sounds like dead

"What'll ya be washing it down with?"

“You got any mead?”

Bartender: "Err...don't think there's many beekeepers around these parts."

“Yeah, fair enough. I guess I’ll just take some beer than.”

He slides over a mug filled with a a dark orange liquid. A minute later he comes back with a wooden board of rye toast smeared with onions.

A gnome comes to sit next to you.

A gnome you say?

"Hello there, sir!"

Hello gratia

“Hello”

"What? My name's James!"

Oh no

He holds out a gloved hand to shake

Oh no

Sandgem

Sandscroll

Fuck

Campaign over

/r 30d6

@Gent: 30d6 = (1+6+6+3+4+6+5+1+1+2+3+6+1+2+1+4+6+4+1+5+1+3+3+5+4+5+5+2+3+5) = 104

A meteor crashes down on the tavern

woah

Give me a reflex save

Can I 20 this

You know

My dragon saw it coming

And made me leave

oh god

/r d20

@Rusp: d20 = (17) = 17

nice

Okay, you passed and take half damage

You still die

fuck

Fine fine fine

rip simon

Or

no idea what his name is

Simon Ere for now

Okay

I shall be shaking jimmies hand and introducing myself

James: "Listen, my party is heading over to those sandy ruins. You sure looked strong, with your big old dragon, and that really sour food."

Man

Am I slap chop or the veteran

“What’s in it for me?”

James: "We give everyone an equal cut of the treasure we find!"

“So, what if we were to find no treasure?”

James: "Uuuhhhh"

He looks really uncomfortable.

James: "Adventuring...is the real reward..."

I’m going to sit there for a bit and then say

“You know what, I’ve got nothing better to do right now. Why not?”

my alternative was to walk away and try to get a different campaign

James: "Oh boy! Well come on with me!"

oh boy

He runs off.

guess I’m following

I’ll pay first

wew

Bartender: "Man, it sure is nice for the tough guys to look out for the suckers of our guild."

“Someone’s gotta keep them from dyin’”

Bartender: "Believe me, nobody can manage that."

“Yeah, s’pose you cant save all of them, but I’d feel bad if I just let them go out on their own”

Bartender: "Okay, you're over selling it now."

I’m an angel

Bartender: "Get on out there, fucking hot shot."

It’s in character