memes
XD
Sunday, August 2, 2020
https://nypost.com/2020/07/31/man-who-lost-penis-to-blood-infection-has-new-one-built-on-his-arm/ my mother mentioned this to me
https://www.thegamer.com/pokimane-destiny-clash-over-invadervie/ Twitch is cancer
Monday, August 3, 2020
Finally got around to watching a lou2 playthrough
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
I took a job at an aquarium to make some extra cash. It had a lot of down time and they let me use the projectors to practice Super Smash Bros Melee. Dear Reddit, what follows is a true story based on real events. M2K really did have a run in with a shark today. The shark is dead. M2K has not been seen.
-From the desk of a scared dive instructor.
I met Super Smash Bros Melee legend M2K at an aquarium I was working at. He said, "hey, how much do I have to pay you to let me swim in the shark tank?" I said, "M2K, I love and respect you, but you know you wouldn't last ten minutes in that cage." He let out a deep sigh and said, "Would you say that to 2007 M2K?" I said, "2007 M2K was a legend, but you know who my favorite M2K is? The one right in front of me." He said, "well, if I'm your favorite, I'm gonna need the keys to the shark tank." I pulled the keys out and said, "here you go M2K." He held them up in the air with pride and took off his shirt. I was about to stop him, but I thought about it. He's the greatest player ever, what's the worst that could happen? I locked the door, took the money out of my wallet, sat back and watched. He put the keys in his pocket and slowly opened the door. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He looked back at me and said "you won't be able to see these tears of joy when I get into the tank, so treasure them." He smiled and closed the door behind him.
Then I heard the other door to the tank open and lock. I rushed over and banged on it, but there was no answer. The guard told me that M2K had already swam through. I took out my phone and called him. M2K answered and I heard an odd, muffled breathing. I asked him, "M2K, are you ok?" He said, "Yes, I'm good. I'm in the tank, getting ready to fight this dumbass shark." I said, "What?" He said, "the shark, it looks like it has just picked up on the scent of fear. But what he doesn't realize is that he's smelling his own fear, not mine." I said, "M2K, stop it, you're scaring me!" He said, "I'll be fine, just pay the guard." I said, "What?" He said, "That's what he's asking for" I took out a huge wad of cash and handed it to the guard. The guard opened the door. M2K's lifeless body lied on the floor. I felt it for a pulse. It was so faint, I couldn't tell if he was alive.
But then M2K took a deep breath, opened his eyes and started laughing. I asked, "what happened to you?" He said, "I'm ok, man, but I learned a valuable lesson today." I said, "what lesson is that?" He said, "every day is an opportunity to be the best version of yourself. 2007 M2K wouldn't last one minute in the shark cage with me." He started tearing up. I said, "are those tears of joy?" He said, "Oh these things? No. Those are shark tears. You'll understand when you're older."
Wednesday, August 5, 2020
banjo tooie music was legit tho
Thursday, August 6, 2020
Friday, August 7, 2020