general

they say "easy as pie" for a reason, right?

Why the fuck do they say easy as pie

Oh it's comparing to eating pie

That's a stupid fucking idiom

I would argue that pie is not even in the top 10% of easy things to eat

Make sure to poke holes in the pie

Any other tips

use your Max-poking thumbs

I know you love baking

Use lard

I didn't HAVE ANY

Butter then…

yeah I used butter

uh, the only actual tip is to use cold butter, and know when to add sugar

I used cold butter

We're so in

Frozen butter and pulsing it in a food processor is foolproof

I just used cold butter and tortured myself by mixing it in with a fork

based

Less things need to be cleaned if you use only a fork for the entire process

Genius

now just don't burn it

Im very good at not doing that

When I bake I check that shit constantly

It's going to be a mulberry raspberry pie because I had one cup under what the recipe needed

(My family consumed my harvest)

lol

I don't have any whipped cream what am I even doing any more

Ice cream?

No

get that fork back out and whip boy

Regular cream?

No

Over.

Time to go to the store....

FUCK

oh nevermind i found some cream absolutely buried in the fridge

green?

Not the Virginia cream

Sorry

damn

Fork time

I assume you know how to hand-whip but the colder the better

No mixer?

I have one but why would I get it dirty

Yeah don't worry I've done this a few times

The time to clean it is much less than the time it saves to use

X