general

!

lol

$google rusp

First result found for query rusp: https://www.hrsa.gov/advisory-committees/.../rusp/index.html

$image retard

First result found for query retard: http://farm1.staticflickr.com/147/358031334_78ae4879f4_z.jpg

There it is

lol

$image gay retard

First result found for query gay retard: http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/picture/anusthemenace/retard.jpg

$fml

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

Damn... so relatable

$fml

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

Okay?

$fml

These are not funny

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

they are really funny

Want to see funny?

$fml

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

$image funny

First result found for query funny: https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/81/218390185_5db6f899fc_b.jpg

WHAT

NO

THE AST ONE WHAT

im crying

ITS PROVEN ME WRONG

it was so unexpected

They were all so terrible

$image spooky

Then

First result found for query spooky: http://creepyhalloweenimages.com/free_halloween_photos/spookyplaces/slides/88-victoriacave6.jpg

$image crusty sock

First result found for query crusty sock: https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/1/13/Dirty-socks2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20060531024455

Consider me spooked

$image robert moran

yep

thats rob

$image incompetence

Rob did not handle the transition well

First result found for query incompetence: https://www.dovepress.com/cr_data/article_fulltext/s132000/132827/img/VHRM-132827_F001.jpg

$fml

Today, I caught my husband once again looking at half naked pictures of a friend of mine on Facebook. When I asked why he did it, he said "I was checking to see if they were still there." FML

what

???

Ok

$fml

Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML

?>>>

$fml

???*

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He had stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

ok

$fml

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

XD

$fml

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

God these are bad

these are pulled from reddit right

$ship

Third Leg III x ChivesKirk OTP!!

$fml

Today, I finally got around to doing laundry. The washing machines in my condominium building take about an hour to do a load. When I returned to throw my clothes in a dryer, I realized they were never washed in the first place. I used my card and detergent to pay for another person's laundry. FML

ok

$fml

$fml

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. 5 seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML

that random picker is not very random

What, that first one

$ship

Diet Krap x Lap OTP!!

nothing can topsplinter dick

$fml

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML