bot

“Someone’s gotta keep them from dyin’”

Bartender: "Believe me, nobody can manage that."

“Yeah, s’pose you cant save all of them, but I’d feel bad if I just let them go out on their own”

Bartender: "Okay, you're over selling it now."

I’m an angel

Bartender: "Get on out there, fucking hot shot."

It’s in character

let’s go

-5 gold

You're now at 165

nice

So you follow the eager gnome outside the guild, until you reach a sort of marketplace.

Before you are James, 2 other gnomes, and a dwarf.

James: "Well, it looks like we'll be hunting for those sandy scrolls!"

aren’t they sand gems in this version

you can’t trick me

The scrolls of the sand gnoll

So they aren’t gems?

Dwarf: "Hey, another guy. He's a lot taller than us."

James: "Mhmm, he's our big strong man."

fuck

I haven’t watched this campaign in so long

I forgot a lot of it

I just know

I won’t be fucking with any donkeys

James: "I suppose it's time we all introduce ourselves!"

“Hey, my names Rusp”

“And this..”

pointing to dragon spider

James: "I'm Jimmy Jameson, I don't identify with any gender, but you can use male pronouns for me!"

right

Gnome: "The names, Patrick...Patrick Cake."

I remember this now

Gnome: "Chip chop!"

it’s all coming back

Dwarf: "And I'm his brother, Slap chop!"

James: "Wait, his brother?"

"You mean like adopted-"

Slap Chop: "He's my brother blood and all. Me and Chip have been together as long as I can remember."

James: "I'm pretty sure, you can't actually be related....these guys are fucking crazy."

What a coincidence

Patrick: "Listen kid, you think yourself a tough guy...you think you've seen it all, Rusp....but you haven't seen what I have...."

“Right.. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind”

I don’t want to push this man

What a chad

Hey

I said partial chad

Slap Chop: "So we're looking for some sandy scrolls, rigth?"

James: "Right! They're supposed to be somewhere in this desert."

James starts looking around

/r d20

@Gent: d20 = (7) = 7

He digs through the sand for a few seconds and pulls out a rock.

“You uh.. realize that they’re at the ruins they just uncovered, right?”

Slap Chop: "Did you find the scrolls yet?"

James: "Nope, but I think this might be a clue."

James takes out a magical looking gun device.

He fires it at you.

Give me a will save.

welp

/r d20

@Rusp: d20 = (19) = 19

not today

Okay, you fight off his neural link gun

I’m going to stare him down

He looks back as if nothing happened.

I’m going to approach him

James: "Pfft, what do you want, kid?"

“Don’t ever use that shitty gun on me again, got it?”

James: "What gun?"

Is he still holding it

No, he immediately put it in his back pocket.

He's now trying to sidle away.

I’m going to attempt to take it from him

Give me a strength check

/r d20-1 #for patty cake

@Gent: d20-1 for patty cake = (14)-1 = 13

/r d20

@Rusp: d20 = (6) = 6

fuck