bot

/r d4+4

@Gent: d4+4 = (2)+4 = 6

Vag

Is a god

The alpha wolf drops to the ground feebly. Wolf number 3 loosens his grip and flees the scene with agonizing whimpers.

Wolf number 2 attempts to do likewise.

Now, you can move 40 feet, both these wolves are wounded

Hmm

I could run

They're both hobbling away

Oh

Let them do that

But they can't move very fast in their current states

Dlanigger isn’t out for blood

You still have 7 health

Alright then

The alpha wolf is before you, breathing weakly

Oh

I’ll kill that one

Sounds good to me

You know what you do here?

You sever his spinal cord!

All the pain of the battle was worth it

My plan finally has come together

And it’s all thanks to my big ol’ vag

After a little while, Vag falls into a deep slumber.

Before he does can I give him a treat

I think he’s earned it

Sure

Nice

Listen umbreon

hopeefully it'll be faster in the future

About 4 of my attacks did no damage

Won't have to explain everything

That was fun

If not horrifying

So morning rolls around, I assume you slept?

Yep, I brushed my vag a bit to

Vag is still sleeping, it seems you'll have to carry him

Do I know how to skin

Give me a survival check, that's a +2

/r d20+2

@Rusp: d20+2 = (9)+2 = 11

It is very unpleasant, but you manage to get a decent looking wolf pelt

Nice

You leaving the rest there?

Oh

I’ll take some meat

I was planning on giving him so more mead-dipped bread

After neglecting the carcass over night, the body is crawling with flies and maggots

Worked well last time

Anything look clean?

But salvage 4 pounds of meat

That’s quite the hefty amount

It's not any filet mingnon, but it can provide sustenance

Heading out?

Nothing else to do here, might as well

You arrive at your destination in the early morning.

This town seems to be a lot more substantial than the one you'd previously visited.

Not necessarily impressive

There is an inn by the entrance, various shops line the street which leads up to an ornate church. To the side of the church appears to be a stone monument with a sword buried within it.

Excalibur?

Ok

First order of business

Find a shop to sell my wolf pelt

You find your way to a hunting shop, various drowsy men are strewn across the building.

Alright

Into the shop I go

There are a few hunters sitting inside the building, but no shop keep in sight

Alright

I’m going to approach one of the hunters and ask if the shopkeeper is around

Trying to sound not autistic

Hunter: "At this time of day, no. What are you hankerin for anyhow? Maybe we can help"

“I was uhhh.. looking to sell this pelt.”

Hunter: "That thing? ....boy, you sure did a patchy job of skinning the thing. Didya kill it with your bare hands or what?"

“Uhhh... I uhhHh”

Perfect response

Hunter: "Uh, right. How about I take it off your hands for 80 gold?"