bot

That dex isn't coming from nowhere

I guess I’ll buy something of the bartender

I ask if he has any food for sale

Bartender: "Um, I guess? We have some bread and cheese to go with your beer"

“How much for two loaves of bread?”

Bartender: "Uh, 8 gold? What exactly do you need two loaves for sir?"

(you have 40 gold atm)

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m very large”

“Also my pet hasn’t eaten in awhile either”

Bartender: "I don't think those things eat bread"

“It’s worth a shot”

Your badger comes from a rich household, so it may be pickier

Fuck I knew I should’ve gotten the duck

Roll for knowledge nature

/r d20

@Rusp: d20 = (14) = 14

11? alright, you know badgers LOVE honey

“Actually, while I’m here, you wouldn’t happen to have any honey I could purchase?”

Bartender: "Well, we've got mead in the back room"

"I can give you a glass of that with your bread"

“Not exactly what I was looking for, but I think I can make it work”

He hands you 2 loaves of bread and a mug of mead. He seems to have warmed up to you after having some of your money in his pocket now.

Bartender: "You know, you're alright. Maybe we shouldn't have killed all of ya"

Wait

What

He waves you away with a smile.

Well

I’m autistic and dislike confrontation so I’m just going to leave

Perfect

When you get out back, you notice a couple gnomish children messing with the badger. The badger well trained enough not to immediately attack, but you can see its patience is waning.

One of them is pulling at its ear and the other is attempting to mount it.

Ok

This is an easy fix

I’m going to walk over, stomping as loudly as I possibly can, and I’m going to give them the scariest look I can manage

They suddenly stop as they notice you. They start bawling their eyes out.

I walk over and retrieve my badger

They haven't moved yet.

I walk over

And retrieve my badger

How are you gonna do that.

Untie it? Pick it up?

I’ll quickly dip a piece of bread into the mead

Than I’ll walk over to the badger, pick it up, and feed it the mead covered bread

Alright, it is still tied up though.

Fucking

I’ll untie it

At the smell of mead, the badger becomes placated and sits down in anticipation,

The children start to smile again as their attention goes back to the badger.

Have I untied it?

sure

Than I’m going to pick up my boy and walk away

It shakes off the child that was on its back, causing him to bump his head against the wall

Quickly reach to stop it from bumping its head!

Give me a reflex saving throw

/r d20

@Rusp: d20 = (11) = 11

that's an 18]

Wait

Like a d18?

Alright, you catch the child. The badger nestles up to you and starts gobbling the mead soaked bread.

No no no, 11 + your modifier (7) = 18

Oh damn

Your dex is high as fuck

And you get a bonus for being a rogue

Mission successful, I guess

the children seem to be amused with you

Oh no

Not kids

I need to use an escape skill

whoa, what's your problem with kids

My man is autistc

He dislikes confrontation

you could just sprint

Fair

But that’s not as cool

You'll have to drag the badger with you for anything fancy

Hmm

I don’t want to sprint

Sprinting black men are suspect

No one sees you right now other than the children