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There is one other kind of animal, however, that has us solidly beat, even though it has no such following. I speak of the spectacular, over-the-top sensuality of the amazing "red rocket" possessed by canines. We ignore this one, perhaps, because dogs are generally much closer to the majority of us than horses. There is no reason to romanticize the mundane, as we do for the equine penis, and we are often quite scared of our dogs' sexuality, since we do have to live with them instead of just looking at them in a field we're driving by. By acknowledging that it's at all there, we are forced to deal with it in a fashion other than having the vet remove it, and we are usually more worried about what that means for us than what it means for them. Nonetheless, dog penises are wonderful, a fact which deserves to be recognized even if the vast majority of us will never experience one firsthand. The first thing that anyone will notice about a dog's erection is the color. "Florid" is the best word I can think of to describe this beautiful display. From angry, fire engine red, through every possible shade of pink, with some extraordinary specimens additionally featuring deep purple and glistening white, an erect dog's penis rewards the viewer's eyes with the full spectrum of colors that our culture associates with the urgent desire of lust. As it comes out of its sheath, its palette seems to beg to return to a warm and cozy place inside the body of another.
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Its form and functionality are similarly titillating. The pointed, very slightly flared tip allows for easy entry without being completely smooth, and while perhaps not as visually exciting as the glans of a human, certainly gets the job done comfortably and efficiently. The size when fully erect tends to be very impressive in proportion to its owner, often being much thicker and somewhat longer than the average human penis. However, most people aren't fully aware of that, because of another handy trick the canine dick can perform. When the action begins, it's much smaller. Very thin, and a bit shorter. Once it's in, or played with sufficiently, it inflates to its full, throbbing size, allowing for the receptive partner to adjust more comfortably. No inflatable dildo I've ever seen has such a wide range of widths as does our best friends' tackle. They usually just seem to start at "too big" and get "slightly bigger." A dog's penis is much more friendly, allowing even the novice to enjoyably accommodate something really fat and juicy. And juicy it certainly is! One of the best things about wolf wang is the precum. There is so much! And unlike ours, which merely drools when we get close to the end, theirs begins squirting almost constantly, nearly as soon as the fun begins. The result is a satisfyingly messy taste sensation that is truly without compare. On the other end, this also serves a practical purpose, contributing greatly to the fact that a dog penis is self-lubricating, a trait I'm sure we've all wished we could share at some point.
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Of course, no discussion of dog dicks would be complete without a mention of the crown jewel, the one thing that most strikingly sets them apart from us: the bulbus glandis. Ranging in size from a rather small plum to near that of a softball, the swollen base of a canine's cock is both an invitation and a challenge. Do you want to take the knot? Can you? Once you have, of course, there is the dizzying feeling of being dominated, not by your partner, but by your own desires. Trapped there on the floor for up to twenty minutes, one must simply wait and enjoy the feeling of being so consumed with lustful passion that the fear and shame of being caught seem immaterial. When you are tied, it is inescapable that a part of your identity is firmly outside of the mainstream's comfort zone. A piece of your soul is there, wrapped tightly around that dog's twitching, squirting dick just as surely as your pussy or ass is. The thing that draws many to such interests is the fact that this is a perfectly symbolic microcosm for all of our sexuality. In our culture, even purely vanilla sex is often made to feel "naughty." The most banal and benign aspects of sexuality are couched in terms that make us feel a little wrong to want it, even in the strictly defined contexts where it's not supposed to be. In that moment when you accept the knot, and make yourself incapable of defense against whatever might occur should your door suddenly open, you have decided that you're not going to play that game anymore. The world may say you're a filthy slut; you're happy to be one, if that means enjoying yourself to the fullest with your most loyal companion.
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Overall, it is simply a fact that your dog's dick is better than yours in nearly every way that matters. It's alright to feel a little jealous, but I think it would be nice if we as a culture could recognize this more openly, similarly to how we do for horses. Happiness in this strange and beautiful world in which we live lies in fully appreciating all of nature's marvels, and nature has certainly made the canine penis marvelous.
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So there was this one day where I was fucking my dog because she was sexy as fuck, I didn't know what the fuck I wanted to do. But then my sexy ass sister caught me and told my parents. She is 7 years old so she doesn't know any better at all. I had to hide it so I locked myself in the bathroom with semen cumming out of the dogs asshole. I was so fucked so I jumped out of the window and took my 7 year old sister with me. We hunkered down in a shed and then I took her clothes off as I took all my clothes off also. As we were having the toughest sex I've ever had with her she was crying super loud. When a cop came to the shed and saw me fucking her I went all shadow Clone jitsu on that biatch. I was like sign gang sign fast ass Naruto signs and then I was like, "Which one is me? You don't know," and then I fucked the cop until she cummed everywhere. I killed her by shoving suicide pills down her throat along with my sister and raped both of them for about 20 straight hours before I went home. I came back 2 hours later and started fucking them again. And then right after that I woke up.. It was all just a sweet ass dream, I was so mad. 😠😡😠😡😠😡😠😡 So then I just killed myself and the wrote this post.
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honestly, you’re the worst thing that has happened in my life. I seriously cannot take how much you harass and bully me in a daily basis and it’s driving me insane. I’ve seriously considered killing myself because of how much you hurt me. From the moment I met you you’ve been extremely rude to me and this has to stop. I really do not know your intentions but you’re a horrible human being and I hope you will learn what you do is wrong. I have blocked you from Discord as I cannot take this anymore. Goodbye forever, Bullyachu
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I'm Seth, I make cookies and post memes on Snapchat. I learned how to eat chicken with my left hand today on account of the fact that I sliced my hand open while opening clam chowder and I’m wearing a brace. I had a single song stuck in my head for 6 months once. I have ADHD so if I don’t text you back I forgot you existed and I apologize I still love you. I unironically listen to All Star and Fireflies. Kirin is the best elder dragon don’t @ me. I make a lot of references people don’t understand. I’ve been to four Buckethead concerts and I cried at all of them. I’m currently writing a book. Yes, really. I like sending UwU’s. Don’t @ me. Honestly the hardest I’ve ever laughed was at an Overwatch meme. I fucking hate Overwatch. I put 30 days into Overwatch. Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks Fortnite sucks. I have like one real life friend maybe, sometimes. I have 100% on Dark Souls and Cuphead so you literally can’t get on my level sorry sweetie. I eat pizza like every day. My biggest fear is honestly the Xenomorphs from Alien, like I have nightmares about them. Don’t @ me. Yeah I meditate is that an issue? I’ve been led on like 10 times in my life. I’ll tell you I play guitar but I know like 3 songs I think. Scott Pilgrim Vs the World is like the greatest movie of all time. I’m in a relationship with Monster Hunter World character sorry you can’t have me we’re in love. Don’t fucking @ me. Some of my best friends are like 12 years old, yes, really. I’ve only almost gotten fired like 5 times. I still can’t fucking find those birds. Tobuscus is the greatest YouTuber of all time don’t @ me. I like saying don’t @ me. I’ve never once binge watched a show on Netflix. I played Left 4 Dead for like 20 days. I’m an expert on hentai except I’ve only watched like 2 hentais. I know all the words to rapping for Jesus. I got 6th place on PUBG once so you can’t compare sorry.
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I'm John, a 35 year old (and single 😉 ) man from the southwest. I am a huge rider fan (both the sport team, and any woman who knows what I mean otherwise 😏 ). I work as a professional construction worker during summers, and during the winter I am a stay at home dad taking care of my special little guy. 👦 When I was younger I had a dream of becoming a dj, it is all I would ever talk about. Year after year I spent talking about my future life as a dj, I almost missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime, my beautiful wife Helen 👩 (rip her soul she died lol). Helen and I soon found ourselves with a new child, Trevor 🤰 on the way, and let me tell you, he sure is a handful! Every day he cries, which I told him is strange because he is 25 now. He said it had something to do with his waifu cheating on him, but when I asked him to clarify, he just screamed at me that I would not understand what he and Felicia share. I am starting to grow scared for Trevor's mental health, he is spending more time screaming "We've got trouble" in the middle of the night, while crying and masturbating, I honestly have no idea what to do. Under the advice of my mother, I am putting this advertisement up on craigslist. If you are young, attractive, and want to party, hit me up. Thanks, John

This archive is read-only — captured July 2020

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