Kappa⁴ Archive

lfg

<:Tea:612680029171875850> <:Tea:612680029171875850> <:Tea:612680029171875850> E3 cancelled, E4 is in.

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Rusp lfg
You know about the i4? It’s a nice little road down in Florida Nice little interstate So, I’m driving down this road with my girlfriend and out of the corner of my eye I spot it A billboard And the billboard says, “boardwalk burgers” So I think to myself for a second And out of nowhere I’m blinded by this absolute behemoth of a joke An absolute titan It hits me So I say this joke outloud to my girlfriend “Boardwalk burgers? More liked bored burgers, because those burgers aren’t having any fun.” And my god I could not stop laughing
Rusp lfg
So yeah, anyways I was reading in the local newspaper about this one train driver They said that he was well known for being pretty incompetent Just bad at life in general So the story in the paper says that he ends up crashing his train, killing everyone on board besides himself Now the families of the train riders, they are not happy They all come at the driver guns blazing, suing him for what he’s done And eventually, he goes to court and is prosecuted He is charged and sentenced with the death penalty So, you know how death row inmates get their last meals? He asks for beans and rice So, the warden sits him up And gives him a plate of his favorite food Then he goes to bed The next day, he’s in the electric chair And the executioner looks at him and pulls the lever Now - I know this might be hard to believe, but trust me. He pulls the level, and the electricity doesn’t effect the man at all He just sits there, unflinching So the executioner, baffled, flips the switch back and goes to talk to the man He asks him how he isn’t dead from the chair And the driver looks at him and says “I’ve always been a bad conductor”

This archive is read-only — captured July 2020

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