sudo TPK

Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide covers just a portion of Forgotten Realms, Eberron is a completely different setting

...So in an effort to remove "racist" stereotypes,

they've turned orcs - the monster race, not half-orcs, the PC race(which are no longer composed of almost nothing but rape babies) - into stereotypes of tribal Africans or Native Americans.

Am I the older of the boomers?

Minecraft was released in 2008, right?

At least in beta.

All I know is that I paid $8 or $9 for it when it was in beta I was in high school, and it's now, what, over $30?

This is legit making me sperg out, and I'm sorry, but the scene from THACO: The Movie, where the dude freaks out after finding out that in 3rd edition they got rid of THAC0 in favor of ascending AC and to-hit bonuses, is completely how I feel.

"How about instead of saving throws, we close our eyes and hope REALLY HARD not to get hurt?"

"Should we trade spell levels for affirmation, and hit points for hugs?"

First made public in May 2009, so I was 16 or 17 when I bought it.

If you want to cry about ableism as a ranger in 5e, all you have to do is roll beastmaster and you're good.

I've watched like two videos of it, and I think the issue is, is that pretty much until Critical Role(actually, Big Bang Theory had a hand in this before Critical Role, but it didn't showcase RPGs the same way, just mentioned them) came out, if you were into D&D, you were considered such a nerd that you're essentially a social pariah.

If people don't pay any attention to you anyway, it's a lot harder to get swept up in sterilization, cancel culture, "wokeness," etc

What's really funny is all the shit ActiBlizz is doing to make WoW as sterile as possible(besides, yknow, nonstop race war, civil war, genocide, anything besides high-scale physical violence), yet in FFXIV, you have multiple main scenario quests that mention rape or attempted rape, and half the arcanist class quest line is about rescuing an arcanist who has been kidnapped and is about to be forced into sex trafficking.

Sorry, didn't even think about it. Edited.

But maybe, just maybe, instead of doing all this fucking bullshit, WotC could just do what pretty much every OSR game that has law/chaos and good/evil axes does: Flat out say, "Alignment is both objective and subjective in this game - there is objective alignment, which is used for magical abilities based on alignment, and subjective alignment, which is your character's tendencies in acting, not their entire personality. You can be a good character that has to do something evil and vice versa, but a Beholder is evil so a paladin can do big dam with Smite Evil against it."

"Clone is no longer restricted to medium size–allowing halflings and gnomes to immortalize themselves forever as flesh pods waiting to be made into people." This errata I'm fine with, because it's actual mechanical errata, not removal of lore, integral game systems, or trying to make the game puerile(outside of the fact that a fuckton of the game is about killing shit in most campaigns)

So, if orcs are no longer chaotic evil by default, how long before orc is a core race?

Like, there's absolutely no reason for orc to not be a core PC race if their alignment is presented the exact same as how half-orcs have been presented since they became a PC race.

Sorry, last thing on Drow: Drizzt Do'urden is the most popular character in D&D lore. His entire backstory is based on the fact that he's a Drow, that is not evil. With this retcon, Drizzt is just like any other Drow.

And TSR and WotC have made WAY more money on D&D novels than they've ever made on rulebooks, adventures, etc(at least before DNDBeyond, not sure about it now)

Real talk about midgets for a second? In the... 17-18 years of running homebrew adventures, I've never built a consistent campaign setting, just generic fantasy setting with random locations with names that are not recorded (unless that adventure is made into a module for distribution), I'm just now working on building a consistent campaign setting with its own lore and allows for adventures from the lowest tier of high fantasy to the most epic tier

And my brain decided that halfling fighters and barbarians should be common. ._.

Like, looking at shit mechanically in books, Stout halflings get a constitution bonus, are resistant to poison damage, have saving throws against being poisoned. "Why should that be?" asks my brain. The solution it gave? "Stout halflings tend to live in jungles & swamps, are more tribal than their Lightfoot cousins, so they've become hardier and resistant to poison."

What do you have in tribal areas of high fantasy settings, if you compare it to 5e mechanical classes? A lot of fighters & barbarians.

Rangers just kinda suck altogether in 5e, but beastmaster BY FAR

They got rid of racial stat penalties in 4e or 5e(I don't remember much about 4e, because I preferred playing MMOs on a computer, not at the tabletop), so the only limit small races have, really, is they can't use "heavy" and "two-handed" weapons, though I believe in 5e they can use one-handed weapons(that aren't light or finesse weapons) as versatile.

In combat, yes, they're outclassed in every aspect, but not all D&D games are focused around combat. Thing is, rangers kinda suck in every aspect in 5e. Combat, skills, archetypes, anything that would make them unique, are just kinda crap.

5e beastmaster ranger is probably the worst class in the 5e core rules.

That requires a splatbook. Isn't core rules generally defined as PHB, DMG, and MM?

Monk can be the worst class, or it can be pretty damn good. It depends what level you start at, what kind of adventure you're running, how dangerous the world is, etc

Unless someone is trying to powergame on the level of Pun-Pun, I allow for pretty much any official splatbook options, but what I'm saying is they shouldn't be that dogshit without core books.

Sorry, there's a lot of chat going on that I'm trying to process all at once. I meant that, at level 1, yeah, monk sucks, but if you're starting at a higher level in a campaign(I don't know about you, but I find it very difficult to run a single campaign all the way from level 1 to 20), monk can be very good.

Like how it used to be that magic-users were absolute dogshit for several levels, and fighters dominated, but once you get access to 3rd- and 4th-level spells(permitting you survived that long), your magic-users started DECIMATING the battlefield.

For some games.

If they had used 4e design for a D&D MMO, rather than what they use for Stormreach, that actually might be a pretty decent game. If you sped up the combat a bit, it might even be fun as a board game. But it doesn't feel like D&D.

More like a board game that moves a bit slow than a war game, but pretty much

A 1st level fighter wearing plate mail, carrying a longsword, bow, and quiver of arrows is going to have at least 15 strength to wear the plate mail, probably has good constitution and at least half-decent dexterity. A 1st level fighter is also SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than a normal human. a 10-11 in 3.x/4e/5e in an ability score gives a +0 modifier, but that's not the average for a normal person.

A normal person is probably weaker than a 1/4HD monster.

Do you only play with people that play complete stereotypes for classes? When I play a rogue, if I'm somewhere safe, I'm wearing normal clothes, or if I'm paranoid, I'll be wearing leather armor with baggy clothing over it. I'm not going to be trying to actively sneak around in a church full of people.

Eh, I don't care about that

I give zero shits about identity

Yeah, by dictionary definition, a nigger is an ignorant person, and if we're bringing a historical context into it, it's typically directed toward black people.

That's any identity, btw, not just ethnicity

I know this isn't Rob chat, but for all the shitty or stupid stuff Rob has made, he got it pretty right with the bandit thing. Eluamous hides in the bushes, while Schmoopy just tosses his gear in the bushes and puts on the beggar rags, and the bandits just walk past him, cuz he looks like he doesn't got shit on him.

Just because you're a rogue doesn't mean you have to walk around in leather armor all day, twirling daggers, slipping in and out of the shadows throughout town.

That's also why you shouldn't wear actual robes as a wizard in most instances, just nondescript clothing; any intelligent enemy force will see robes, a pointy hat, a quarterstaff, and charge right for the fucker.

But isn't the whole point of a roleplaying game to, yknow, roleplay? Like, if you have to trek 40 miles, why would you walk from point A to point B, wearing your full plate armor, sword and board equipped, when you could wear normal clothes, get a couple horses and a cart, and ride there?

Unless you're planning on fighting through 40 miles worth of enemies.