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Bartender: "Hmm? Ah, yes! Sorry, I'm not used to ebonics"

Bouncer: "I think the dark fellow is trying to communicate"

"Okay, no sudden moves until I say so..."

The two of them approach the badger with blades drawn

The bouncer was previously huddled in the corner in fear of you

He whistles sharply, calling over the bouncer

Yes lol

He seems to not be paying attention to you

His eyes open wide and he yells, "Hey, who let that wild animal in here?"

"We don't get many of....your kind around here"

The bartender nervously walks up to you and inquires where you're from

Okay, everyone moves one seat away from you

Is this very uncomfortable for you, not only because of the awkward position, but because you don't like to be easily noticed

Everyone notices you as you...squat in?

In your haste, you seem to have overlooked the fact that you've in a gnomish town

You notice the ceiling is only 5 feet high

Okay, give me a roll

Over to your left you notice a bar

You were just trying to escape the police, you've temporarily lost (((her))) trail

oof, not a clue

alright, give me a roll +3 I think

Your badger follows along ambivalently. It occurs to you that you did not bring any food for it with you. You yourself are quite famished right now.

So you walk into a village. You were just able to shake off some paladins chasing you through the woods, but you're afraid they're not far behind.

That's why you became a rogue, to find the trap

Max killed your twin brother

You can see ALL traps, if you roll for it

As a level 1 rogue, you get sneak attack and trapfinding

I think that's about it

Alright, -1k it is

That's just a normal goos

Oh by the way, blacks get a stealth bonus at night

The badger at least wouldn't completely fuck you in stealth

It won't be trained

Essentially the way you're getting a pet is by stealing it from a rich person, and they'll put a bounty on your head

It could put you more in debt

It's tamed but doesn't really listen to you, it'll only stay with you so long as you give it food

How about this, I'll give it to you but you're in debt 1000 gold

Well, the skill handle animal is charisma based

Oh, I just got the regginald joke

So regginald is dead, what's his twin brother's name?

Would you like to use the same sheet we've been using?

Okay, you now need to make a new character

Yep

Okay rusp, give me a death roll

Can you afford it?

Oh right, you're gonna get a village turned into an undead monstrosity

End goal should be to run nintendo of america

What's your name by the way?

Makes enough sense

gives reassuring head pat